


There Are Always Flowers For Those Who Want To See Them

by Cirillafionn



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Bly is now in London, Everyone is adult about breakups and boundaries, F/F, I am gay trash, Inspired a little bit my Imagine Me and You but I haven't seen it in ages so mileage may vary, Nobody Dies, Still set in the 80's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:08:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirillafionn/pseuds/Cirillafionn
Summary: When Dani visits 'Leafling' in search of a florist for her wedding she is instantly captivated by the owner.(Now formatted for reading ease...)
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 5
Kudos: 177





	There Are Always Flowers For Those Who Want To See Them

Dani Cross-referenced the address in her notebook against the number on the small shop-front, adjusted the strap of her handbag and pushed open the door emblazoned with the name "Leafling" in gold lettering on the glass. The room beyond was packed to the roof with buckets of every flower Dani could imagine, and pots of healthy green plantlife. The atmosphere was humid and warm, smelling of earth and a heady mix of innumerable floral scents. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, savouring the aroma.

"Alright there?"

She jumped in surprise and turned toward the speaker - a short slim woman in denim dungarees wiping dirt from her hands with a tea towel. Her dark hair was loosely curled, hanging to her shoulders in an artfully messy sort of way.

"Hi! I think we spoke on the phone - you're Jamie?" Dani extended her hand. "Dani Clayton."

"Ah the blushing bride to be!" Jamie shook her hand firmly.

"I don't know about that," Dani replied, wrinkling her nose.

Jamie gestured to a table covered in cuttings and flowers with two chairs tucked under it. "Pull up a chair while I sort out this mess."

Dani sat and admired the flowers sorted in eclectic bunches surrounding her. She suspected there was an order to the layout but she couldn't discern it - other than that the effect was beautiful. "How long have you had this place?"

Jamie paused, tapping a pair of pruning shears against her chin thoughtfully. "Coming up on a year now, bought it off the old owner who wanted to retire."

She finished tidying the table and wiped it down with a damp cloth. "There we are. Cuppa?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you want a cup of tea?"

"Ah! sounds great." Dani made a face. "I'm not used to all the English slang yet."

"You're American?"

"How can you tell?" Dani quipped.

Jamie snorted with laughter. "Regular Miss Marple with accents, me," She placed a cup in front of Dani and sat opposite with her own. "How long have you been in London?"

"Almost six months. Eddie - my Fiancé - works for the US embassy." Dani took a sip of tea and stifled a grimace. She hadn't acquired a taste for it yet, but didn't want to be rude.

Jamie leaned back on her chair, one arm slung casually over the backrest. "And you? What do you do for work?"

"I nanny for two children in Holland Park."

Jamie whistled, "Very posh. I bet the kids are right little bastards."

"They're actually lovely! I feel lucky to have landed with them."

Jamie's eyes flashed with amusement. "You make it sound like you flew in like Mary Poppins."

"Maybe I did," Dani smiled, then slapped her forehead comically. "I left my umbrella on the bus…"

"Make sure you bring it next time yeah?" Jamie pulled a tattered notepad and pencil from her pocket. "Got any favourite flowers?" Pencil poised and head cocked, her gaze made Dani inexplicably flustered.

"I don't know, I guess I like carnations, snapdragons, buttercups-"

Jamie made a low whistle with eyebrows raised.

Dani frowned, somewhat taken aback. "What is it?"

"Sorry, it's just you couldn't have picked a worse lot for a wedding." Jamie noticed Dani's expression and raised her hands conciliatory "symbol-wise I mean: Carnations mean disdain, snapdragons are deception, and buttercups, well - unfaithfulness. I'm not a wedding expert but maybe this isn't the best message?"

Dani winced. "Obviously I'm open to suggestions."

"If you still wanted a yellow scheme you could go for some pansies - " Jamie pointed to a bright yellow flower with large cheery petals. "They mean optimism and joy. That big one there is a yellow Dahlia which meant commitment in marriage in Victorian times...I could make something work is what I'm saying."

Dani rubbed her face wearily, feeling the weight of all the planning ahead. "I guess I have a lot of thinking to do."

Jamie appeared to intuit her mood and brushed her knuckles against Dani's hand on the table. "Chin up Poppins, just break it down into little pieces and if you decide to go with me, let me know your budget and I'll do you up a quote and some sample arrangements."

Touched by the florist’s kindness, Dani replied, "I’ll need to talk to my fiance about the cost, but consider yourself hired." She tucked her chair under the table and they shook hands once more. "It was nice to meet you."

"You too."

She had pushed on the door to the street when Jamie called out after her, "Oi, Poppins!" And crossed the floor to hand her a single yellow lily.

Dani smiled quizzically. "What does this one mean?"

Jamie just returned the smile with a raised eyebrow and disappeared into the back of the shop.

"I'm back!" Dani called into the house as she opened the door to her employer's manor.

A small girl ran down the staircase to greet her. "Miss Clayton! It's been ever so dull without you!"

Dani wrapped her in a hug. "Well I'm here now Flora, what have you been up to?"

"Mrs Grose and I have been drawing pictures for Owen, would you like to see?"

"I'd love to!" Dani let herself be pulled to the kitchen where the housekeeper, Hannah Grose was tidying the pencils and butcher's paper scattered across the table while the chef, Owen, prepared food.

Hannah glanced up at their entrance and smiled warmly. "Hello darling, how was your meeting?"

"Really great. The florist is...you know sometimes you meet people and you just know right away you want to be friends?" Dani lowered herself onto a chair and gingerly fished around in her bag.

"I suppose so," Hannah replied, though she exchanged a shrug with Owen.

Dani carefully extricated the lily and placed it on the table.

"What a lovely flower! Is it for me, Miss Clayton?" Flora exclaimed excitedly.

Hannah noticed Dani's silent reluctance and interjected, "No darling, but we can look it up in your uncle's plant dictionary if you like?"

"Oh yes! Let's!" Flora ran from the kitchen to retrieve the book from the library.

"Thanks." Dani smiled at her friend, who retrieved a vase from under the sink.

"You give far too much to the children already." Hannah chided, "Of course you must keep your lily."

"You wouldn't happen to know what it means? With the flower type and stuff."

Hannah placed the vase on the table. "I don't, but we can check the dictionary if Flora ever returns."

As if summoned, Flora placed the book on the table and together the three located the entry:

"Yellow lilies symbolise thankfulness, desire for enjoyment and flirtation."

"What's 'flirtation' mean Miss Clayton?" Flora asked.

Owen raised his hands laughing. "I'm not touching that one."

Dani groped for an appropriate answer, all thoughts of the florist driven from her mind.

Later she walked the oldest sibling, Miles, home from school and ate supper with the children, Owen and Hannah before riding the bus home.

While gazing at the dark streets of London with her Walkman playing she thought about Jamie: what she might be doing at this moment, the meaning of the flower, and whether this could be the first non-work friend she'd make since moving to the UK.

She arrived home before Eddie and placed the container of leftovers Owen had insisted she take with her in the microwave to keep it warm.  
She was watching television in the living room when she heard the front door open and called, "Dinner is in the microwave!"

"Thanks!" A man’s voice responded.

She listened to the microwave door open and close, then Eddie entered with a bowl and collapsed into the sofa beside her, giving her a kiss before beginning his meal. "How was your day?"

"Fine, I went to the florist Lord Wingrave recommended." Dani replied, resting her head on Eddie's shoulder while he ate. "She's great."

"Oh yeah? Think she's the one?"

"Absolutely."

~~~

Dani put off calling Jamie's shop for as long as she could, for no other reason than the anticipation she felt when thinking about the conversation was likely to be more exciting than the interaction itself, so it was several weeks before she lifted the phone receiver on a whim one morning at Bly Manor.

"Florist," Jamie answered curtly.

"Uh, hi. It's Dani Clayton."

"Poppins? Thought I'd scared you off." Jamie sounded amused.

"No! I've just been busy."

"Good to hear. So, what can I do you for?"

"I was wondering whether you had free time this week to go over some colour schemes."

"Sure, let me grab my diary - " There was silence from the other end of the phone. "Right. I can do...well pretty much anytime actually, how's Saturday?"

"I can meet you in the morning?"

"Perfect. See you then."

"Can't wait!"

The line went dead leaving Dani to wonder whether her sign-off had been too keen.

Saturday arrived quickly. Before she knew it Dani was making coffee in her dressing gown while Eddie packed his briefcase on the kitchen counter.

"You're sure you don't mind me working today? It's your only day off."

"It's fine." Dani replied, and it really was. "I'm doing wedding stuff anyway."

"I'll try to be home early. Love you." He kissed her forehead.

"Love you!" Dani called after him as he briskly left the apartment.  
She showered, dressed and caught the bus to the florist across town.

"Alright?" Jamie greeted her as she pushed open the door.

Dani tilted her head. "How do people usually answer that?"

"You're supposed to say 'yeah, you?' I think." Jamie moved around the counter and paused with her hand half extended. "I never get this right. Are you meant to hug, or shake on the second meeting?"

Dani laughed and closed the distance between them for a friendly embrace.

She took the same seat she had on her previous visit and Jamie sat opposite her, notepad and pen in hand.

"Okay! First thing's first, when's the big day?"

"May."

"Spring! Lovely, perfect, and the venue?"

Dani winced. "I haven't...picked one yet."

"Cutting it fine there for a wedding booking Pops, places tend to book up a year in advance."

"Shoot. Really?"

"We're in London!" Jamie laughed incredulously. Her mirth subsided when Dani didn't join in. "I can recommend a wedding planner to give you a hand if you like."

"It's fine I'm handling it I just...forgot about the venue." Dani shifted awkwardly in her chair. "I'm actually booked in to try on a wedding dress this afternoon."

Jamie raised her hands in a defensive gesture. "Sounds like you have it all under control then."

Desperate to change the subject from her failings Dani pulled her planner from her bag. "I've been thinking about the colours and I don't think yellow would have the right..."

"Gravitas?" Jamie offered.

"Yeah! but I don't really know what to do instead - maybe purple, and white?"

Jamie left the table abruptly and began pulling flowers from buckets seemingly at random.

A short time later she pulled her chair around the table close to Dani and handed her the assembled bouquet.

"Right. We've got violets for loyalty - " Jamie pointed to a purple flower. "White yarrow for love, myrtle for ‘good luck in marriage’, White jasmine for a bit more love, Lavender for devotion - and the best smell if you ask me - and Heliotrope for ‘eternal love’ just to cap things off."

"It's beautiful." Dani exclaimed softly. She hadn't noticed how closely she'd leaned in while Jamie spoke and moved back into her chair.

Jamie wrinkled her nose. "No need for false praise in this shop -"

Dani instinctively squeezed Jamie's hand. "No! This really is perfect."

There was a moment where neither woman moved, then Jamie cleared her throat and returned the flowers to their respective buckets. "I don't know about you, but I'm famished." She checked the clock on the wall which displayed 11:15. "Pint?"

Dani smiled "I thought you said you were famished."

"Well I'm hungry and thirsty. The pub round the corner does a decent lunch if you'd care to join?"

Dani shouldered her handbag and pushed out her chair with a shrug. "Lead the way."

They left the shop together, Jamie pausing to lock the door, then walked briskly to a large venue a block down the road called 'The King's Arms'.

"I've never seen anything more English in my life." Dani laughed, pausing to take in the wooden facade.

"You wait ‘til we get inside!" Jamie replied with a cheeky smile, taking her hand and tugging her through the double doors.

The interior was somehow still hazy with smoke despite the lack of clientele. Wherever Dani looked it was either polished wooden furnishings or rich red upholstery - apart from a fair of antique pistols above the bar.

They ordered two pints from the middle-aged barman who obviously knew Jamie, and sat at a small table near the window.

"Mind if I smoke?" Jamie asked, cigarette already between her teeth.

"Not at all, I have a pack somewhere..." Dani began to search her handbag.

"Here." Jamie held out hers. "Who knows what's in that nanny bag of yours, I’d be surprised if you can find anything."

Dani accepted a cigarette and leaned across the table so Jamie could light it, resting her fingers lightly on the hand holding the lighter.

"Cheers." Jamie held her pint aloft with her free hand, then took a long swig.

Dani followed suit, wrinkling her nose after gulping down a large amount of beer. "I can see why they call it 'bitter'."

"You don't have beer in America then?"

"We do, it's just different." Dani thought for a moment. "More watery maybe."

"Sounds truly awful." Jamie relaxed back into her chair, drew on her cigarette and exhaled smoke while she watched Dani with an appraising expression.

Dani felt compelled to fill the silence after a few seconds, "So, uh, how did you get into the flower business?"

Jamie tapped ash into the ashtray wryly. "This could be a make or break moment for us Poppins, you ready?"

"You're scaring me, but okay, yes."

"I served a few years in prison." Jamie shrugged. "Result of a misspent youth."

"Oh." It wasn't that shocking, Dani was fully aware of the ways race and class disproportionately affect a person’s chances of being incarcerated but as a white, middle-class woman she hadn't met many people directly affected by this. She knew she should say something reassuring, aware of the awkward silence stretching out longer and longer but her mind completely failed her.

"You're welcome to leave now or would you like to hear the rest?" Jamie sounded a little hurt.

Dani felt the colour rising in her cheeks. "I'm sorry, please continue."

Mollified somewhat, Jamie continued, "Right. Well, while I was inside I took up gardening - busy work for idle hands, you know, and when I got out I did some groundskeeping in the country where I fell in love, then moved to London, got hired at Leafling and bought out the old owner last year."

"Wow." Dani was silent while she digested this information. "You fell in love?"

"I did," Jamie’s expression became wry once more. "But i suppose I'm not exactly an easy person to love, so she left."

"'She'..." Realisation dawned for Dani and she blushed. "Oh. You're..."

"Devastatingly handsome?" Jamie ran her fingers through her hair, "Single?"

"Ha."

“You seem pretty unmoved by my shocking revelations,” Jamie raised an eyebrow.

Dani rolled her eyes. “It’s not 1890, I’ve met gay people before.” She pushed out her chair abruptly. "You want another beer?"

Jamie drained her glass and passed it to Dani. "Go on then."

Two pints later and Dani was leaning on the table with her head resting on one hand, tracing patterns in the ring of beer left by her glass. They'd slowly warmed to one another, and as alcohol tended to encourage, Dani felt compelled to share parts of herself she hadn’t revealed to anyone.

"So how long have you been with…Eddie isn’t it?" Jamie had assumed what appeared to be her customary position when seated: slouching, arms folded, legs extended and crossed at the ankle beside Dani's feet under the table.

“Yeah - short for Edmund. We’ve been together since we were kids.” Dani didn’t want to talk about Eddie. Thinking about him cause a worm of guilt to wriggle in the pit of her stomach for reasons she wasn’t ready to examine just yet.

“And does he make you happy?”

“Okay listen I have a theory - ” Dani sat up in her chair. “In the entire history of human experience, out of every time period and country in the world I was born in the most profitable time, in the richest country. I have a roof over my head, a man who loves me, a job, I never have to wonder where my next meal is or - or have to work in a sweatshop, or be sold into slavery, what is happiness if not that? And if I’m not happy,” She shrugged. “what the hell is wrong with me?”

Jamie pursed her lips thoughtfully then said, “Seems a long-winded way of saying ‘no I’m not happy’.”

“What do you mean?”

“It just sounds like something an unhappy person might tell themselves so they don’t have to change anything.”

Dani bridled with indignation, then glanced at her watch and groaned.

"What's up?"

"I missed my dress appointment."

Jamie began to chuckle. "I'm sorry to say Poppins, I've never met a worse wedding planner."

Dani rested her head on the table with a self deprecating snort.

"Well, since you've missed your appointment already and it's my round, one more?" Jamie smiled persuasively.

Dani slid her empty glass across the table in silent consent, and Jamie returned to the bar for one final drink.

The afternoon sun was streaming through the window when they left the pub together.

"Will you be right getting home?" Jamie asked, brows knitted with concern.

"I'll be fine." Dani replied airily, the effect spoiled somewhat by her tripping on the gutter. "What about you?"

"Oh, I live nearby." Jamie pointed to the flat above the pub.

"Convenient." Dani pushed a strand of hair behind her ear while Jamie studied her, head cocked.

“I don’t suppose you’d like to do this again sometime?” She asked, after a pause.

Dani laughed delightedly. “I was just about to ask you the same thing!”

“Take that as a yes then. Call me when you’re free?”

“Sure.”

They embraced again, perhaps more warmly than that morning, and Dani headed for the bus, beaming the whole way home.

~~~

Dani wasn’t sure when her feelings for Jamie had become confused, but the dream she’d had during the week after she had been to the florist certainly hadn’t helped. By the week after that the content of the dream had faded, and though she was left with only impressions - flashes of their bodies and mouths pressed together - her stomach flipped whenever she so much as thought the name ‘Jamie’.

She had decided, therefore, not to contact the florist until the feelings had subsided and threw herself into her work, with only the occasional spell spent standing over the phone at Bly agonizing over whether to call.

“Wash your hands before lunch!” She called after the children as they ran into the house on what had been an ordinary day, and entered the kitchen where Hannah had already taken her customary seat.

"Ah, Dani! A woman called on the telephone and left a rather cryptic message for you -” She unfurled a scrap of paper from her pocket. “'Poppins, meet me at the shop after you finish work.' She didn't want to give a name, said you'd know."

Dani’s breath caught in her throat. “Did she say anything else?”

“That’s it I’m afraid.” Hannah slid the scrap of paper across the table and Dani scanned her neat cursive for further clues.

Owen worked his way around the table placing plates of food in front of those present. "Has our American got a secret admirer then?"

"No," Though Dani couldn't help blushing. "It's the florist I booked for the wedding."

"The kindred spirit you found? How lovely!" Hannah gushed enthusiastically, “Are you firm friends now?”

Dani didn’t want to talk about Jamie, and made a non-committal noise.

“How goes the wedding planning anyway?” Owen asked, taking the seat beside Hannah.

She didn’t want to talk about the wedding either. Truthfully she hadn’t done any planning recently, and had missed an appointment with a photographer the previous morning. “It’s going!”

“Can’t think of anything worse, me, all that money for a big party and what do you have to show for it?” Owen tapped his fork on a glass. “Some crap glassware and a mix master if you’re lucky.”

Hannah shoved him playfully. “Stop it - you’re scaring the poor girl.” 

The sun had set by the time Dani arrived at the florist, it’s windows were dark and Jamie was sitting on the stoop smoking.

"Alright then?" Dani called in a fair imitation of Jamie's accent.

"Not bad, glad you got my message."

"We aren't going in?"

"Given you haven't called I'm assuming you don't need my professional wedding services yet, so I thought we could have some tea in the park.” Jamie flicked her cigarette butt into a nearby bin and met Dani’s gaze earnestly. “Thought a distraction might be in order."

“You really are Miss Marple huh.” Dani admired playfully, the worm of guilt giving an insistent wriggle in her stomach.

“This way then.” They stopped at a fish and chip shop where Jamie ordered for the both of them, then again to pick up wine from an off-license before settling on a park bench overlooking the city in a park a few blocks further. Jamie left space between them for the food, which was wrapped in newspaper, then fished a corkscrew from her pocked and opened a bottle of wine for them to share.

“Here’s to…” She paused to think with the bottle at her lips. “You and yours.” she swigged.

“An old classic.” Dani accepted the bottle and took a long pull. With the wine resting between her legs, she studied the food.

“Wrap your gob around that.” Jamie enthused, ripping a large piece of battered fish with her fingers and passing one half to Dani.

It was delicious, Dani conceded, vocalising her approval through a mouthful.

They sat, and ate, and drank largely in silence, Dani opening her mouth to speak several times.

In the end it was Jamie who broke the tranquility, “You’re awfully quiet today, Everything okay?” She shot Dani a glance and swigged from the now half-empty bottle.

“I’m fine,” Dani lied.

Jamie huffed irritably. “If I wanted to be lied to I’d have gone to Number Ten for tea.”

“You’re right - I’m sorry,” Dani played distractedly with the discarded cork while formulating her thoughts. “It’s just the wedding, I think I’m having - ”

“Second thoughts?”

“I was going to say ‘cold feet’.”

Jamie shrugged and passed Dani the wine bottle. “Is there a difference?”

“Well yeah. I’m still getting married, obviously, it’s just hard to look forward to right now.” Dani gulped down wine to avoid Jamie incredulous glare.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why get married if you don’t want to?” Jamie raised an eyebrow while Dani spluttered. “Don’t feel you have to answer.”

“No, it’s just unfair for you to say that!” Dani exclaimed loudly. “I never said I didn’t want to, Eddie's the one I'm meant to be with - we've been sweethearts since we were kids, this is how life is meant to go.”

Jamie peeled the foil from the mouth of the second wine bottle with her teeth. “But how do you know you’ve found the one you’re meant to be with when you’ve never been with anyone else?”

Dani jerked her head in irritation. “I don’t know, how do you know you don’t like guys?”

“Because I’ve met them.” the corners of Jamie's mouth twitched upward.

There was a pause. Then Dani began to laugh.

The conversation drifted to other things as they worked their way through the remaining wine and picked idly at cold chips. Dani wasn’t sure of the time, and was aware Eddie would likely be concerned, but couldn’t bring herself to leave without asking one final question.

Jamie thwarted her plan with a shiver, rubbing her arms with her hands. “Might be time for me to hit the bricks, Poppins.”

“Oh. Yeah, me too.” Dani busied herself with gathering the detritus left from their food and added, “Can I walk back with you? I don’t know my way home from here.”

“Come on then,” Jamie grinned.

The park was dark and empty. Dani felt emboldened by the anonymity the darkness afforded and finally worked up the courage to ask, "How did you know you were gay - really?"

"Not pulling any punches tonight are we?” Jamie’s tone was teasing, but she hummed thoughtfully before answering, "I told you I left home when I was young didn't I?"

Dani nodded.

"When I got to London I met this girl, Emma, and we were inseparable. There was something about her I found…‘magnetic’ I suppose would be the word."

Dani felt a fluttering in the pit of her stomach, but stayed silent.

"Anyway, one night we got absolutely fucked up, she kissed me and it just felt right." Jamie paused for a moment, kicking a stone along the road. "I'd kissed boys before but it had never really done much for me. With Em though, I finally understood what all the songs were about." She placed a hand on her chest. "I felt it here, you know?"

Dani was worried she might. “Were you with Emma long?”

“God no. After that night she pissed off to Brighton with a bloke and I dove headfirst into the metropolitan gay lifestyle.”

They reached the intersection which would send Dani to the bus stop while Jamie would continue on to her flat and both stopped on the curb.

Jamie took the opportunity to light another cigarette. “I’ll walk you - these streets can be a bit rough."

The bus stop was empty and dimly lit by the street light on the other side of the road.

Jamie scanned their surroundings with a skeptical look. "How long ‘til your bus?"

Dani checked the timetable on the wall of the shelter. "About ten minutes."

"I'll wait with you." Jamie sat on the bench in the shelter and stretched out her legs before Dani could object out of politeness.

After triple-checking the timetable Dani joined her on the cold aluminium.

She inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Thanks for tonight, I don't know about you but I haven't really clicked with anyone since I moved here."

Jamie feigned shock. "Until me?." 

Dani rolled her eyes with a snort of laughter. "Yes, until you."

Rather than the pithy reply she expected, Jamie turned to face her and replied with a small smile, "I feel the same."

She wasn't sure who began moving first, but almost automatically she'd leaned towards Jamie until their faces were inches apart. Then their lips touched tentatively.

Jamie pulled away after a moment and said seriously, "You sure about this?"

Dani's heart was in her throat. She nodded.

Jamie shuffled towards her on the bench and and their lips collided once more - imperfectly at first as most first kisses are, but growing in confidence. Dani was dimly aware of one of Jamie’s hand cupping her cheek, the other roaming over her back and waist.

She had touched the edges of this feeling occasionally, whether with Eddie or alone, but had never experienced the raw passion pulsing through her in this moment. Her world had shrunk down to Jamie's tongue flicking against hers and every body-part pressing against hers, desperate for more intimacy.

Eventually the headlights from the oncoming bus rudely illuminated them and they regretfully separated.

Jamie was flushed and disheveled in the harsh glare. She left Dani with one chaste kiss on the cheek and stepped back a pace. "Call me?"

"I will." Dani boarded the bus and chose a seat, then waved as it pulled away.

The reality of what has just occurred began to sink in during the journey home and she had alternated between excitement and terror so many times by the time she was quietly unlocking her front door she was exhausted and miserable.

"Eddie?" She called into the dark apartment, there was no answer.

She sagged with relief and collapsed onto the sofa with a quiet, "Fuck..."

~~~

Dani sat on the lawn at Bly Manor fiddling idly with a blade of grass while she watched Flora and Miles play a complicated game of tag nearby.

Hannah approached from the house with two cups of tea and handed one to Dani before sitting beside her on the rug. "Are you alright darling? You haven't been your usual bubbly self these past few days."

Dani stared at the cup in her hands and the words were out before she could regret them. "I kissed someone - other than Eddie."

One of Hannah's eyebrows twitched upward slightly. "Well that certainly wasn't what I was expecting, do you care for him more than your fiance?"

"Its actually 'her'." Heart hammering, she paused to gauge Hannah's reaction and continued when she picked up no disgust. "I don't know how I feel about it except confused." She then quietly recounted the whole story.

"Oh dear, that is a pickle." Hannah tapped her nails on the side of her teacup thoughtfully once Dani had finished. "Do you think you might be...you know, gay?"

"I don't know," Dani relived the passionate kiss and grimaced. "Possibly."

Hannah fell into pensive silence for a moment then spoke slowly, "I wouldn't say I have much expertise when it comes to this particular problem but I am divorced so I have it on good authority that society puts a lot of weight on the idea of a 'failed relationship'. It can feel rather scary to put oneself in that category, but it doesn't mean you should stay in something just because you think you ought to. If you aren't hurting anyone and you see yourself happier with this woman than with a man, why not pursue it?"

Dani watched the children while she thought this over. "But it will hurt someone, " She said quietly, "Eddie."

Hannah tisked. "Darling if you truly believe he would be happier with you miserable, then you need to leave either way." She sipped her tea before adding, "And I'm sure I can speak with Lord Wingrave about putting you up in one of the guest rooms while you sort yourself out."

Later that day while the children had afternoon tea in the kitchen Dani ducked away to use the phone at Hannah's insistence.

"Florist," Jamie's curt voice answered after three rings.

"Hey - its Dani."

"Ah." There was a pause. "How are you?"

"I'm okay, sorry I didn't call sooner..."

"I get it, not every day your florist sticks her tongue in your mouth."

Dani laughed softly. "You don't do that with all the brides?"

"Wouldn't be a very good business model if I did, Poppins."

The flood of affection Dani felt gave her courage. "I was wondering if I could come and see you tonight, but its totally fine if you don't want to, or you're busy -"

Jamie interrupted her with a derisive snort. "Of course I bloody do. Just say where and when."

"I was thinking...your flat?" She felt her cheeks become warm. "I could stay the night."

She heard Jamie sigh. "I don't want you to think I'm not keen on you when I ask this, because I very much am: what about your Fiancé?"

Dani's stomach flipped uncomfortably. "He's away until Monday."

The line was silent for what felt like an eternity until finally Jamie answered. "See you later then."

Dani made her way through trial and error to the second floor of the King’s Arms that evening, and managed one knock on the door at the top of the external stairs before it opened.

"I wasn't waiting the whole time, I heard you coming up the stairs." Jamie explained by way of a greeting, then held the door for her to enter.

"Sure, I believe you." Dani teased, her heart was beating so furiously she worried Jamie could hear it. "Beer?"

"Yes please."

Dani took in her surroundings while Jamie pulled two bottles from the fridge. Unsurprisingly there were potted plants on just about every surface, but the lounge area was dominated by large framed Debbie Harry poster above the fireplace.

Jamie followed her gaze with a grin. "Don't mind my housemate, she keeps to herself."

Dani slowly sipped her beer while she thought about how best to convey her desire to kiss Jamie immediately.

Jamie interrupted the silence by expelling air from her cheeks. “Fuck it.” She placed her beer on the mantel and caught Dani’s gaze. "Can I kiss you again?”

“Yes.” Dani beamed and wrapped her arms around Jamie’s shoulders.

She had kissed Eddie more times than she could count, but this was different. This was like discovering a new limb and flexing it for the first time.

Jamie paused, studying her face with an intent expression. "You alright?"

Dani nodded, unable to answer.

"Speechless again!" Jamie smirked, "Not that bad am I?"

Dani kissed her into silence. The intensity increased and her body reacted accordingly. Her thighs now rested against the arm of the sofa and one of Jamie's was positioned between them, coaxing a quiet groan deep in her throat.  
Unbidden however, the thought of Eddie walking in to the room and seeing her with another woman filled her mind and she tore herself away regretfully.

"Sorry!" She gasped, “This was possibly the worst idea I’ve ever had - I’m sorry.”

"No need to apologise," Jamie replied reassuringly, then gestured to the sofa. “We can just sit and talk for a bit if you like?” Dani nodded and lowered herself onto the cushions. Jamie waited for her to choose her seat, retrieved their beers from the mantel and perched on the arm of the sofa, giving Dani several feet of space. The kindness of the gesture surprised Dani, and she gripped the bottle tightly between her hands in an effort not to burst into tears.

“I get it you know,” Jamie said after allowing Dani a moment to compose herself, “The last thing I need in my boring little life is some straight man coming for me because he thinks I stole his wife.”

“Fiancé.” Dani corrected with a small smile.

Jamie conceded the correction with an apologetic gesture, then continued more solemnly, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like this very often.”

Dani let loose a chuckle. “I half thought this is how all lesbian relationships are.”

“Lord help me I’d be dead by now if they were,” Jamie replied with a grin.

The anxiety loosened in Dani’s chest.

Jamie was watching her contemplatively, then offered, "How about I call you a taxi?"

Dani found she couldn't think of anything she wanted to do less. She glanced at Jamie, "No its okay. Do you think maybe we could just hang out instead?"

Jamie nodded. "I'd like that. We could watch a movie!" She crouched in front of the television unit. "I've got Alien, some episodes of Black Adder taped off the telly..." she shrugged, "And that's it."

Dani laughed. "I haven't seen either of those but Alien will probably be easier for me to follow."

Jamie shook her hear head with theatrical sorrow. "What do they teach you Americans?" She inserted the VHS tape into the player, switched off the lights and sat on the sofa, still leaving a foot of space between them. "Now be warned, this is my favourite film so any negative opinions will be held against you."

"I'll be sure to keep them to myself."

Dani found it hard to focus on the slow-building space horror, distracted and enchanted as she was by Jamie's obvious enthusiasm for it. Jamie sprinkled the narrative with anecdotes from the set, pointed out the cinematographic tricks and how the practical effects were built.

"I didn't pick you for a nerd," Dani teased.

"I'm a woman of many depths, Poppins." Jamie replied with a wink.

After the credits rolled Jamie stood, stretched and shrugged on a jacket. "Cig?"

Dani nodded and pulled on her cardigan.

Jamie sat on the third step from the top of the external staircase giving Dani space should she want it. The small gesture filled Dani with tenderness and she chose to sit beside her, leaning against her shoulder with a heartfelt sigh.

"Alright?" Jamie murmured around the end of her cigarette while she lit it.

"Yeah - I just like you." Dani impulsively pecked her on the cheek.

With an amused expression Jamie squeezed Dani's thigh with her free hand and rested her head on Dani’s. "You're only human I suppose."

Dani woke the next morning with one hand on Jamie's hip. Their feet were tangled together beneath the duvet. Jamie had gallantly intended to sleep on the sofa, but Dani had trusted their ability as adults to occupy the bed together and insisted they could share.

She studied Jamie's sleeping face, overwhelmed by the affection she felt. She suddenly realised wasn't the same woman she had been yesterday, and knew instinctively she never would be that woman again.

The ease and grace with which Jamie had not just adhered to, but embraced her boundaries was incredible and unknown to her. It wasn't that Eddie was a bad partner, she reasoned, he just hadn't seemed to regard her needs overly much when they conflicted with his wants. It was this realisation more than any other which stiffened her resolve. She wriggled closer and kissed Jamie's forehead softly.

Jamie stirred, wrapped her arms around Dani with a sleepy, "Alright?"

Dani let herself be lulled back into sleep in the arms of the woman she was falling in love with. 

~~~

Dani's heart pounded as she sat on the sofa running over the conversation she was about to have in her mind. The phone rang suddenly prompting an anxious twitch.

"Hello?"

"It's Jamie."

Despite her anxiety Dani couldn't help smiling.

"Just wanted to let you know I'm...thinking of you." Jamie's voice was earnest and soft. "And you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I want to." Dani paused, trying to verbalise what was in her heart. "I need to see where things go with you."

Jamie was silent for a moment. "I'm very relieved to hear that Poppins."

The sound of the front door being unlocked filled Dani's veins with ice. "I have to go."

She replaced the receiver with a click and sat back on the sofa, certain her heart was about to explode.

"Hey hon!" Eddie called from the hall.

"In here!" She replied, voice unnaturally high pitched to her ears.

Eddie entered the living room cleaning his glasses with his tie. "Heathrow was crazy." He placed his glasses back on his nose and noticed Dani's expression. "Are you okay?"

"Can we talk?" Dani patted the sofa cushion beside her stiffly.

"Uh oh." He sat and watched her attentively.

She took a deep breath. She was just going to have to say it. The words were out before she could recall them. "We need to break up."

Eddie uttered a half-hearted chuckle, then when Dani didn't join in he looked confused. "Is it the wedding? We don't have to get married if you don’t -"

"It's not the wedding." Dani reached over and squeezed one of Eddie's hands. "I can't describe how hard this is for me to say…but I'm not happy and I think eventually you'll realise you weren't either."

He stared at her, incredulously. "Do I get a say at all? What if I say no?"

Dani met his gaze. "I can't accept that. I love you, but I won't live half a life to make you happy."

Eddie pulled his hand free from hers and asked quietly, "Is it someone else?"

Dani looked away. Her lack of denial was evidently confirmation enough.

They sat in awkward silence for what felt like an eternity, then Eddie stood abruptly and moved a few steps towards the bedroom before pausing with his back to Dani. "Are you going, or should I find a hotel?"

"I’m going to live at Bly until I figure out what I want to do next.”

“Until you decide to move in with him you mean,” Eddie almost snarled.

“It’s not like that - “

Dani was cut off by the bedroom door slamming shut between them.

With a teary exhale she picked up the knapsack of essentials she'd prepared and quietly left the apartment. 

~~~

Dani gave herself a few days to grieve the end of her relationship and settle in at Bly Manor before making the trip to Leafling.

Jamie was assembling a bouquet for a man in a pinstriped suit when Dani entered the shop, the expression on her face was one of irritated forbearance while the man refused every flower she suggested. Her mouth twitched in the shadow of smile when she noticed Dani.

"Here - on the house." She thrust a bunch of yellow roses into the bewildered man's arms and pushed him out the door, before turning the 'open' sign to 'closed' then turned to Dani with a raised eyebrow. "Can I help you Miss?"

"Yes." Dani brushed her fingertip against the leaf of a Bromeliad. "I need an arrangement that says 'sorry you ended your relationship with with your Fiancé, but best of luck with the woman you fell in love with'."

Jamie tapped a finger thoughtfully against her chin, inspecting flowers as she made her way slowly towards Dani.

"Lillies are traditional for commiseration, but you could go for some Gerbera - "

Dani cut her off with a passionate kiss. She'd been confident in her decision before this moment, but it was a relief how right this felt.

She allowed herself to be swept up in the heat of their attraction until Jamie pulled away slightly, assessing Dani with pursed lips, hands gripping her hips. "I don't show this to all the customers you know, but I've got a lovely back room if you'd care to follow me?"

Dani laughed and allowed herself to be led through the door behind the counter, anticipating what was the come with enthusiasm and excitement.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this attempt to exorcise Bly Manor from my brain so I can fill the space with new things.


End file.
